Posted by: canthold | July 26, 2010

Moving!

Location, location location!

I love WordPress, but I’m going to move my blog to back to Blogger. The reason is that it’s just easier to use and get to for me. I used to use it long time ago before I launched my own website. When I started that, I used the WordPress software, which I love. Since I couldn’t import my blog to Blogger when I said good-bye to my own site, I landed here. I still like WordPress, but logistically, it makes more sense to go back to the other spot.

I’m going to leave this here for the time being, but catch me at my other location for new posts. Thanks for reading!

http://cantholdertongue.blogspot.com/

~Carol

Posted by: canthold | July 7, 2010

Take an eight-legged memo…

Not last night but the night before (twenty-four robbers came knocking at my door) I was on the computer in my office and I did the requisite spider search. I looked in each corner and every nook-and-cranny and there was only one tiny cellar spider about the size of a dime. I was a little surprised because I hadn’t been in there in a while and there should have had more. At least I would have thought so.

Last night I was on my laptop and it was super-duper slow. The network was super-duper slow, I should clarify. So today because I had a million things to procrastinate, I went to troubleshoot my network. I went to that same computer in my office and did the same spider scan as always when lo-and-behold! Three spiders. Or so I thought.

The dime-sized spider in the corner had grown past a quarter size. It seemed pretty fast, but it happens, right? Spiders grow.

Then – well, I should preface this by saying that I’m practically un-phased by the cellar spiders now under most normal circumstances – I saw two larger cellar spiders on the other side of my office. One in a deeper corner, but the other was setting up shop right in the doorway. Which means it was practically dangling over me as I walked in. That phases me.

And each of them had an egg sack on its back. I should say on her back, but I don’t want to make any attachments to them. The thought of hundreds more spiders immediately gave me the willies and I ducked out to get my spider-sucker (vacuum.) When I came back, I saw that in the corner above the door, there were about six little smaller-that-a-dime-sized babies already roaming around and now they’re not.

There are no more spiders in my office.

Posted by: canthold | June 16, 2010

I’m Not Growing Up

I think I’m 16. I’m breaking out like a teenager! It sucks, too. I’m about to call up the TV and order some Proactive. Is that the name? I mean, I don’t want to look like Jessica Simpson used to! I want to look like her now, and if I use her product, I’m guaranteed to look like her, right?

Or not. But seriously, why would I break out now? I never even really had any acne when I was an adolescent the first time around. And be careful about wanting not to ever grow up, because someone might be listening and you might need to buy stock in Clearasil. I’m just saying…

Posted by: canthold | June 7, 2010

Tumbleweeds of Fur

Has it really been that long since I’ve written? Time flies when you’re too busy to know what day it is!

I’ve been on my laptop in my ant-room, I mean dining room. I’m so tired of ants. I’ve gotten them mostly under control, but they are persistent and plentiful. I just watched an ant crawl into my keyboard. Damn thing! I used a can of cold air to blast it back out, but it didn’t work. I’m hoping it crawls out on its own and doesn’t mess up my computer.

(Brief pause for swearing.)

I’m back.

Today, the funniest thing happened. Or – a very funny thing happened today that made me laugh out loud in public without a care for who might have thought I was completely insane.

My dog is shedding wildly right now. If you pet him, a tuft of hair will fly from his back. While on our walk this morning, when he stopped to eat some grass, I rubbed his back vigorously to loosen up some more tufts of fur. Then, I ran my hand along his back and it sent the tufts flying off in the breeze. I watched them as they fell to the street and started rolling like tumbleweeds. As if that wasn’t weird enough, my cat sprang up from behind us (she follows us when we go for a walk) and pounced on the fur-tumbleweed as if it were a dust bunny for her to play with. She kept attacking them, which made me want to make more and I laughed my butt off until my dog had had enough and was ready to move on.

My cat kept following us until we got a few more houses down when a blue jay dive-bombed her and she decided she didn’t want to come along. That’s another very weird site – to see your cat threatened by a bird. What other unexpected things are there to look forward to today?

Posted by: canthold | May 12, 2010

Beautiful Day

I’m sitting in my semi-clean dining room looking out the window to the trees and a pair of birds jumping from limb to limb. My back door is open and an easy breeze is circulating the air at the perfect temperature. I can see my “garden” from here on my right and the Mother’s Day flowers from my family on my left, on the kitchen counter. Does it get more perfect than this?

Yes!

The electrician came today and installed the ceiling fan that I had ordered and received at least two or three months ago. It had been sitting in a box in my living room waiting all this time. It’s very cool-looking, too. Gone is the circa 1980’s gold one with hideously fake wood. Though, I need to be careful how much I insult it, there is a twin in the dining room still. But the living room looks very nice. And! Bonus! It was incredibly dusty and now I don’t have to dust it!

But that is not all.

I don’t have anything that I have to do right now. It seems as thought I’ve lost my to-do list, so I’m completely freed up! For now, I’m just going to sit and enjoy the day. Because it’s just beautiful.

Posted by: canthold | May 11, 2010

Stuff and Junk

I started cleaning my daughter’s room last night. I swore I wouldn’t do it again, but a good hour or so into it, I couldn’t remember what compelled me to start it in the first place. I’m pretty sure I had a reason. In any case, I stepped back and hoped that I wasn’t on hidden camera for the TV show Hoarders.

What is it about stuff? It’s always your stuff and other people’s junk, too. I can look at my kids things and know what I think should be discarded and know what they think shouldn’t be. I filled one bag with trash and another with items to donate and there is still a giant pile yet to be tackled. All this when the other daughter – who’s next – and I had a fight, with tears (hers) and everything about how I never take her to this one store to buy stuff when she asks to go. Hmmm…let me see…because her bedroom is already full of junk right now!

The rule that I have is that if they clean they decide the outcome. If I clean, I do. It seems to be win-win. They don’t want to clean and I want to get rid of stuff junk.

Posted by: canthold | May 10, 2010

The Thing

Last night I woke up to the sounds of chirping. Or cheeping, rather. As I rose to a level of wakefulness and opened my eyes, I saw that my cat had something in her mouth and the dog wanted in on it. I followed my cat from the bathroom door to the bedroom door trying to see what it was. She dropped it, but without my glasses, I still couldn’t tell. By the time I went back to the nightstand, put on my glasses and returned, The Thing had run off.

Even at my mellow, just awoken state, I knew that I didn’t want some critter running around my bedroom. The cat didn’t know where it was, so I started moving things to see underneath. Because I’m such a slob, I had some clothes on the floor and when I picked up a shirt, I saw The Thing.

Quickly, I dropped the shirt on it again and scooped up The Thing inside. I carried it up the stairs and out the front door where I shook it out. It hit the deck and ran for cover. I’m still not sure what it was. It could have been a mouse. It was the right size for a mouse. The curious thing that I can’t get out of my mind is the tail – or lack of. It almost looked like a hampster, but those don’t run wild around here, do they? And it was almost too tiny to be a hampster.

Either way, it’s gone. The cat, not knowing that I took it outside spent a while searching for it, too. That was humorous. The thought occurred to me to off The Thing, but I was in no position to kill the little critter at that hour. And what was I going to do, kill it with my bare hands? No thank you. And please don’t send in suggestions. I like the live and let live unless I have to do otherwise approach to life.

Posted by: canthold | May 5, 2010

Spiders and Spinning in Spring

And I thought the spiders had arrived already. Well, there is absolutely no mistaking that they’re here NOW.

First of all, I think there is a spider in the foot well of the drivers side of my car. A few times I’ve felt a tickle on my leg, only to feel a tickle on my hand as I go to scratch it. No confirmed sightings, but it makes for an uncomfortable drive home. Then yesterday, I went to put my visor down and something dropped. I think it was a spider in a tight ball. I’m not sure, though I don’t keep anything in my visor, because when I swatted it to the (unfortunately closed) window, I never saw it again. (And yes, that would mean that it’s still in the car.)

Then there are all the sticky webs I walk into inside my house. That’s a big YUCK! And the giant cellar spider that was in my upstairs bathroom. I knew it was in the corner and hadn’t vacuumed it up, but last night found it in the sink. I was strangely obsessed with watching it struggle up the sides of the sink trying to get out – confident it wouldn’t – but intrigued and freaked-out at the same time by its persistence and eventual success. That guy was huge, and of course, no where to be found today.

The rain has dwindled down and our storms are further and further apart. As a result, my allergies are getting harder to control. They’re not impossible, but just a bit more present than they have been up until now. I even had vertigo in the middle of the night last night. That was not fun, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

And today is my cat’s third birthday. We’re not entirely certain because we got her from someone who saved her as a feral kitten, (and raised her by hand and bottle) so she’s the best cat ever. But today is the day we suspect is her birthday. Happy Cinco de Mayo Birthday Pearl.

Posted by: canthold | May 3, 2010

Doggone Dog

I seriously want to get rid of my dog. Or give him a lobotomy. (Would that make it a Labradorotomy?) We have too many control issues. He thinks he’s in control – and don’t tell him I said this – but he is, and I want to be in control. He’s just a big dog and he’s making me crazy. Maybe I’m the one who should get the lobotomy.

I took him out today for a nice long hike. Some woman with a little white dog – and might I add, slow walking dog – got out of their car right next to us. It ruined my perfectly good plans for a hike with a little running. My dog refused to be distracted and I wasn’t about to let them meet, which would have solved everything had I been able to trust that he wouldn’t show aggression towards the other dog. I couldn’t pass them because as soon as we were in front, my dog wouldn’t budge. And we couldn’t walk ┬ábehind them because they were going so slowly I didn’t have to patience to pull him back all the time.

After the second or third time we passed them, only to be stopped again by my dog’s stubbornness, I turned him around and quit. I hate little white dogs. I’m not fond of my own dog right now and the entire way back to the car and then driving home I composed the ad I’d like to place on Craig’s List for a new owner for him. That, and I schemed how to change his ID chip to some random place and drop him off in the middle of nowhere.

Does anyone know the Dog Whisperer’s phone number?

Posted by: canthold | April 25, 2010

1000 Legos

I knew that I had the whole unstructured day ahead of me and I had ambitious plans for it. Instead, vertigo decided to sit on my painful shoulder to watch and wait. It hasn’t struck yet, but it sure has put a wet blanket on my list of things to do.

With endless possibilities and two cups of coffee in me, it’s not quite 11:00am and I’ve only washed part of the dishes. I’ve rearranged some of the clutter in the dining room – or the Collection of Crap Area – and was just about to do something (who knows what at this point) when someone walked by my house.┬áMy energetic attack dog went into full alert and started barking to save my life. It was imperative that I learn of the intruder upon his territory! He ran for the front door and in his exuberant effort, up-ended a box of 1000 Legos.*

I’m not a big fan of Legos in the first place. Any item with so many tiny pieces is a nightmare and these are no exception. When my husband brought the box home, the kids loved them, but I kept them out of reach and away as much as I could. Selfish, I know, but a sanity keeper nonetheless. A couple of days ago, we liberated them from their hiding place to use as manipulatives to demonstrate a math concept related to volume comparison. Being a lazy ass, however, I didn’t get them put away right away. Sitting in my kitchen without the lid was a recipe for disaster and I deserved the disaster I got this morning.

1000 pieces. We don’t have carpet either, so they did a good bit of scattering on the floor. And being less of a neat freak than I aspire to be, picking them up mixes the dog hair and dirt into the mix. If only I had put them away. If only I had never gotten them out. If only I had given them away to someone with boys years ago. If only someone hadn’t walked in front of my house.

*Spell check corrects this to Lego’s. That just looks funny to me. Why would the plural of Lego have an apostrophe ‘s’? I’m going to leave it as it is. I don’t really care if it’s correct or not. I have about 500 more Legos to clean up still.

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