Posted by: canthold | July 30, 2007

Slogging Along

I go through phases where I feel like I’m wandering aimlessly. I slog about my normal routine like I’m wearing cement combat boots. And I think I ate a rubber hose. Not really, but my stomach is painful and bloated like I’m trying to digest an indigestible mystery.

It doesn’t help that my book club picked out a book set in a lab where they’re testing on mice, trying to cure cancer. I guess I’d like for someone to discover the cure for cancer, but I can barely stand the idea of hurting living things. (All mice in my kitchen aside. Well, actually, I don’t want to kill them either. I just feel that they don’t belong in my house while my children are vulnerable to whatever they might pass along. And me too.) What I’m trying to say is that my new book isn’t a savory delight as I would love to curl up and drink tea while reading with abandon.

I actually found myself wondering when school was supposed to start. My kids were playing with toy dishes and water and potting soil. They had about 30 dishes out there and they were up to their elbows making some sort of mud concoction. I did a very good job of being tolerant to the mess, especially since they were getting the dirt from the wisteria planted out there in a large wooden planter. Out there being the deck off the living room which we use as the backyard.

I love that deck. It came with a swing, which is one of my favorite places to sit. You might not know it by the infrequency that I get there, but it’s a little slice of heaven nonetheless. We cut the trees this past April to expand the view and now you don’t feel like you’re looking at a giant wall of Tree. You can see across the little valley better to the hills on the other side. More trees could be lopped off to make it even better, but I’d have to hire someone to get the rest. As it was, we had to lasso the last big guy to pull it to a cut-able spot. No easy task, let me tell you. I think my mom took pictures.

I’m just now getting back to getting the trees tops into the green garbage containers. I forgot about them. After seeing that fire in Tahoe, I suddenly became fire-aware and got my act together. Our hillside is such a steep slope that I had to string ropes all over to hold onto as I did a bit of mountain climbing with my yard work.

I think that part of what I’m feeling has to do with being overwhelmed with too many projects going at once. I learned the hard way that I should go a little slower next time. I’m going to get my house back in order and bite off smaller pieces next time.

And maybe tomorrow I’ll drink more coffee. Maybe I’ll get a white chocolate mocha and see where it takes me.


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