Posted by: canthold | August 29, 2007

There’s a flaw in my coffee!

I’m sitting here trying to enjoy my very expensive cup of coffee. Technically the coffee – a white chocolate mocha with whip cream –  didn’t cost lot because I had a “free coffee” coupon from Pete’s, so I only paid the difference, but the rest of “it” is costing an arm and a leg.

The “it” I’m referring to is my Alone Time. I’ve planned my kids’ school days so that I can go back to work. My plan for myself is to substitute teach on the days that my youngest is in pre-Kindergarten all day. My oldest daughter has after-care at her school. Both of these options are a bit pricey, but theoretically, I’ll work to pay for it.

I think my plan has flaws.

First of all, just how illogical can I be to suppose that my work – away from my kids with my Alone Time – is to be spent with kids. Secondly, all the money that earn from this work will be spent to pay for my kids to be taken care of by other people. In order to break even, I’m going to have to work a lot. (That is, IF I break even!) AND, I’m not a spontaneous person and I’ve perhaps picked one of the most spontaneous job options out there. I won’t know if I have work each day until that morning.

I want to substitute because I’ve felt a calling to teach kids for a while. I’d like to find out if I should pursue this by getting a credential. I like kids, though perhaps not as much as I love my own. (Duh!) But generally speaking, I like being around them.

Meanwhile, the care that I’m paying so much for is mandatory. I have to have it all lined up just in case I need it. So on the days that I don’t, I’m still paying and I have no money to cover it. I don’t blame the care providers for wanting predictability in their cash flow, but it doesn’t make sense for me to do this on my end. All this makes me stress and diminishes the enjoyment of my cup-o-java.

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