Posted by: canthold | September 4, 2007

8th on 4th not 9th

Today is my eighth wedding anniversary. My husband and I got married Labor Day weekend on an 86′ schooner named the Ka’iulani. The three-hour-tour included a turn around San Francisco Bay, stopping in Raccoon Straight, behind Angel Island, for the ceremony. It was very fun, if I do say so myself.

Since we got married in September of 1999, my husband wants to remember our wedding date as 9/9/99. When I wished him a happy anniversary today, he looked at me as if I were surprising him with false information. He paused for a long time, apparently scanning his brain for veracity. Moments later he returned with his own wishes to me for a happy anniversary.

“Today’s not the 9th.”

“We weren’t married on the 9th.”

Eight years feels like forever and nothing at all at the same time. It’s like a pillow. All of the time and memories are stuffed between two pieces of material that make up the start date and today’s. Squish the sides together and they’re nearly touching, fluff it and, well, it gets fluffy.

Sometimes I wonder how we have managed to stay married this long. We are more different than any couple that I know. Our individual approaches to life are worlds away. He is about as opposite as he can be from me much of the time. He doesn’t eat chicken and I don’t eat shrimp. He makes me nuts.

On the other-hand, we have a similar foundations in who we are. Similar life experiences and family structure. We connect on an intellectual level in a way that I’ve never had the privilege to experience. Our views to the future and our goals in life are the same. We are better for being together than we ever were apart.

Sometimes I see us like complimentary yin and yang. We contribute the best of ourselves to make a stronger, more complete union. Other times, oil and water are a better analogy.

Either way, today is a day to celebrate our union, to celebrate the beginning of this life we’ve made together, kids, dog, kitten, fish, house, job, messy living room and all.

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