Posted by: canthold | January 15, 2008

Don’t Draw On That!

This morning at around 4:00am, my youngest daughter, who was sleeping in our bed with a fever, yelled her older sister’s name out and said,

“Don’t draw on that!”

I can only imagine what she was dreaming about and how perhaps the fear her sister would ruin something of hers would cause her to dream about it. And I started thinking about fears.

I was supposed to email a woman who spoke at the luncheon last week to check in with her and network and the like. My friend emailed me her phone number so that I could call her. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that that is what I’m afraid of. I didn’t have a nightmare about it or anything, but I haven’t contacted her yet, either.

My friend, who is so supportive and encouraging, is also worlds away from the life that I currently lead. He thinks that my return to the working world would be better than what I have now, but I doubt he could understand my fear of letting go of this. And how do you really know better?

This is the part about relaunching my career that stymies me. I want it all and I want none of it at the same time. And then there is Newton’s first law of motion which explains that my body at rest wants to stay at rest. Perhaps I need a catalyst to propel me into motion.

I’m going to make it my goal today to contact the people I need to and to muster up the courage and energy required to speak on my own behalf. I’m perfectly aware of the benefits that I will gain by moving forward and restarting my career. But at the same time, change is scary and there are those fears to contend with.


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