Posted by: canthold | May 9, 2008

Dial “M” For Spider

Last night – late – almost midnight – I was in the bathroom going to town with my dental hygiene. I just visited the dentist on Wednesday for a cleaning and received a glowing review. I’m sure I didn’t deserve it, but my lack of plaque build-up made me look good. I didn’t even get the usual lecture about not flossing enough, which I don’t.

While I absolutely hate using the “M” word (menopause) in the context of my own YOUNG life, I think I’m in the perimenopause stage. Well, it’s about that time. I am, after-all, 40. Being in this so-called stage, however, I get hormone surges. This might explain my last lengthy bout of vertigo, perhaps those headaches that I thought were migraines, but which probably aren’t, and the new sensitivity I’m experiencing in my teeth.

The dentist suggested that I just do what I’m doing now in the care of my teeth, but more. I actually thought it wasn’t a bad idea. I could use more.

So, after watching the movie Juno – a must see – I was up way past my bedtime and therefore brushing my teeth at nearly midnight. Up in the corner of the bathroom was





It was huge. Let me tell you. So, being afraid of them as I am, I brushed all the more vigorously, as if getting my teeth especially clean would protect me from the spider. I had goosebumps on my arms the whole time and I glanced up every two seconds just to make sure I knew where it was.

Then it was gone!

It was exactly like the moment in the horror movies after the hero/heroine has killed the bad guy and turned around – only to find they’re not dead where they left them. I spit and jumped. Where did it go? After having one repel into my face the other day (or nearly) I was particularly scared of the possibilities. It was still on my ceiling, but it was crawling towards me!

I froze as I watched it carefully and gently work its way across the wall. Something I did made it turn around, though and it crawled back into its original corner. I brushed some more and still vigorously. Still watching.

Then the spider started to lower itself from the ceiling. It partly climbed down the wall and partly repelled like it was descending a cliff. When it got to about eye level, with profuse apologies, I squished it with a tissue. I gave it a funeral and flushed it down the toilet. I put in my night-guard and did a little shiver before leaving the room to go to bed.



  1. great story

  2. I have three more of the little critters in my office. They’re waiting for me to go get the vacuum.

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