Posted by: canthold | July 9, 2008

There’s Work For You

I logged onto my computer today at 1:30pm and it’s now 3:07pm. I’ve accomplished nothing. My computer has been working very inefficiently lately and in doing a search of possible solutions, de-fragging the thing came up. It’s been de-fragging forever!

I’ve also downloaded a program to help clean up the mess, but I’m supposed to end all Windows programs first and the de-fragging is still going on and I don’t know if I should end it in the middle.

I’m so glad that computers have simplified our lives. Let me tell you.

I got written up by my boss on Monday night. Actually, it’s not my boss, it’s my spouse. Actually, I didn’t get written up, per se, just that “little talking to” about my poor housekeeping. Basically, I suck.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a terrible housekeeper. I think that it’s just that my heart’s not in it. I hate picking up after everyone and since it’s easier to do it than to teach it, (perhaps another glaring bit of writing on the wall that I shouldn’t become a teacher,) I do it myself because I can’t seem to teach my kids to pick up after themselves. One of two things results: I either do it for them, which leads to over-dependence on Mommy or there’s a lot of yelling involved.

I imagine how frustrating it is for my husband to work long-ass days (though in an air conditioned office, as I type in 90 degree heat) to come home to a mess all the time. He’s got to wonder – and does – what I do all day long. Now anyone with kids knows that’s a loaded question and one that needs to be asked with a bullet-proof vest on, but still, I get where he’s coming from. How hard can it be to keep clean clothes in the drawers and out of the over-flowing hampers?How hard is it to fill the dishwasher and then empty it?

Never have I been more motivated to return to work just to hire someone to do the housework that I hate.

Throw in almost daily bouts of vertigo where the spinning then medicating is simply wiping me out. Throw in this unbelievable heatwave we’ve been having and no air conditioner. The local swimming pool works out well, but it’s not a cure-all. Throw in that – no – those two things make it pretty un-motivating to do anything. And my list of things to do is a mile long. I can’t even imagine getting through my list.

Yesterday I had some “free” time while both kids were in camp and instead of taking the car in to get a new muffler – or rather, an estimate – I slept off the meds that I took to battle the insane vertigo that I had that morning. Free time schmee time.

And I’ve been trying to get a job at a “big box” bookseller who had a GIANT sign that they were hiring outside their store and I can’t get them to give me the time of day. “Did you fill out an application online?” “Yes” “Well, the hiring manager is not in.” “Now she says to take a message” “Now she said to kiss her ass she’s got more important people to blow off than just you, you little nothing.” Well, that’s frustrating. Me, a college educated, over-qualified, book addict, can’t get myself hired for a mere pittance of what I’m worth by some power-hungry low-level manager. Oh, I’ll regret saying that, all right. They’re probably calling me right now. Nope, that’s my washing machine, not the phone.

What do I do all day? What do I want to be when I grow up? Why can’t I get motivated to (choose all that apply) a) fold laundry; b) clear my dining room table; c) get a job that inspires me? d) solve the world’s peace problems; e) clear the dirt off of my back deck after planting my vegetable garden in planters this last weekend; f) learn to cook; g) learn French; h) write a nasty-gram to my neighbor below for running over my garbage cans and dumping his crap on my property.

Perhaps after writing all of this, I am a bit more inspired to take a dip in the neighborhood pool and cool off. If I wasn’t a hot-head, perhaps I’d get something done. Or not, which seems the more likely option.



  1. I am so with you on the housekeeping. I don’t like doing it, and I’m not all that good at it. Plus, there are days when I just don’t see the point because within 15 minutes of my vacuuming the kitchen, it’s guaranteed that someone is going to drop and then step on a whole bowl of pretzels. It’s hard to get motivated.

    And as for dealing with a chronic illness, that can take a ton out of you, energy and motivation-wise. You probably needed the nap far more than you needed to do anything else.

    Hang in there.

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