Posted by: canthold | January 23, 2009

Oh My Nose!

Nothing can happen to the nose without Marcia Brady coming into my mind. It could be my nose or someone else’s nose, it doesn’t matter. Actually, it does matter because my kids don’t know Marcia the way I know Marcia.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

So, I got home and dumped my stuff on the floor, as only a slob would do, and I put the mail down in the “mail spot,” ready to open it right away. Opening the mail is the most coveted priveledge in our home. My husband complains that he can’t be the one. Since I’m home before him, he is always too late. Sometimes he complains because I open the mail somewhere else in the house and the mail is misplaced. I know he’s just jealous, though. He complains when I throw all the junk mail away immediately so that it doesn’t pile high, too, the way an organized person would do it. He doesn’t throw the junk mail away if I let him see it, so I’m better off just taking care of it, right then and there.

So, of course I opened the mail immediately today. Of course. It included two movies from Netflix, one of which was a disc of Popeye cartoons.  I dropped a piece of mail in the process and went to pick it up off the floor.

Bad move.

My dog seemed to think that barking at me and jumping up and down, in his svelte little 90-pound frame, was going to make me think that feeding him was more pressing than opening the mail. What does he know?

The combination of my bending to retrieve the errant junk (as it turned out) and the big barking dog didn’t really mix. He bonked me in the nose and in an instant, I saw a flash of light in my head. If I were a cartoon, Popeye, for example, there would have been stars swirling around my head. I thought that he must have broken my nose, broken my glasses, or both.

I’m waiting for the swelling to start and my eyes to blacken to give me something to show for my pain, but it’s not happening yet. There is throbbing, that’s for sure. The glasses are intact and so is my nose. But what’s the difference, there goes my date with Doug on Saturday night. *



*I don’t want to link to it because I’m not sure about that it’s legally posted on YouTube, but if you go to that site, look up “Oh My Nose!” I’ll be the one with the long blond hair.


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