Posted by: canthold | April 9, 2009

What A Day!

I’m exhausted. I really am. I wanted to start drinking at about 4:00 this afternoon, but held off. Now I’ve had only one glass of wine and instead of having another and another like I think I would really like to make me feel less exhausted – although, I might add, less capable – I’m abstaining because my dishes need to be done like we’re about to start borrowing the dog’s bowl for breakfast cereal if I don’t do something now.

I’ve been living this crazy life for almost eight-full-years now and finally – finally! – the ridiculousness of it has just now hit me. It’s like I woke up and saw someone else doing dumb stuff in my body and I’m thinking that this woman (me!) is crazy!

I do everything! Well, the reality is that I don’t do everything because I’m a terrible housewife, but I’m responsible for everything. Somehow, I’ve trained my entire family to take advantage of me and I – because I’m so prideful of my responsibilities – let myself feel as though it’s my job. It’s all me. I’m not really liking this deal anymore. I want things to change.

I want my family to pitch in if they want clean things. I want them to help me get the things clean. Is that too much to ask?

When I’m completely exhausted because I can’t even explain why – and that I’m so busy but I don’t exactly know what makes me busy – why can’t I drink a couple of glasses of whine – I mean wine – and get some sympathy over here?

I worked today with a bunch of kids who must want to be juvenile delinquents when they grow up and it’s been quite a trying day. Then I had to supervise a playdate with the half-a-brain I have left and discovered at the same time that my dog is going bald around his collar. Who and what else could possibly want a piece of me? What’s left of me?

So, I had this idea that I tell my girls that they can’t have anymore playdates until they help me keep the house clean enough that I’m not embarrassed when a five-year-old tells me my house is messy. She’s five. Her opinion of me shouldn’t crush my ego. But in my heart of hearts, I know that my house is beyond messy and I don’t have a prayer of catching up in this lifetime.

I also had this idea that I train my family in how to help out around here because I’m going back to work and if they all think that I’m going to work full-time and – AND – keep (not) cleaning the house, they are mistaken and I’ll use my new paychecks to move into my own apartment. And leave the dog, of course, so someone else can deal with the baldness.

I’ll take the cat, though. Even though she is responsible for a tick finding its way into my ear, I love to cuddle with her. She’s awesome. Except when she bites me. I’ll excuse that, though, if she doesn’t ask me to clean something.

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Responses

  1. I think you should use your new paychecks to hire a regular housekeeper.

    I’m fighting the same sort of battles around here. The girls will clean up their room, but not without at least an hour of whining beforehand. And then the cleaning is less than what I would consider clean.

    And don’t even get me started on the laundry issue . . .


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