Posted by: canthold | January 20, 2010

My Dog Ate My…

When I was in high school, a friend of mine from another state came to visit me. She came to my classes and got a taste of what my life was like. We had been friends forever and it was fun. While she was at my house, though, she left her retainer on my nightstand and my dog ate it.

Flash forward to the present time…

That girl is no longer my friend. I gave up on her when she didn’t invite me to her wedding. I figured that was a sign to move on. That’s fine. It happens. The problem with letting go of a friendship that lasted for a good part of my life is that the shared experiences will be remembered anyway, even though the connection is no longer there to pick up the phone and reminisce.

My family went up to Lake Tahoe to go skiing this past weekend. While they were gone, I broke my own rule of not eating food downstairs. Our kitchen is upstairs and we live on a hill, in case that needed explanation. The rule exists because my dog is a food thief. That, and we had a mouse once that found the only lollipop in the joint on the dresser in our bedroom. It was my rule because I’m the only rule maker in the house – everyone else is too concerned about breaking them.

So here I was, alone in the house, and I left a plate that had some food on it next to my bed. Then I forgot about it. My dog did not. When I was in another room, he got the plate by over-turning my nightstand and dumping everything on it onto my floor. Nothing broke, fortunately, except the light bulb.

My night-guard, otherwise known as the stupid-plastic-thing-that-keeps-me-from-grinding-my-teeth was on my night stand. After the incident I couldn’t find it anywhere. I looked all over, knowing that it had been on my night stand. My dog ate it. Flashback to high school all over again.

The other thing that was on the night stand that is now missing is my wedding ring. This is the one with the diamonds in it. I have a faint recollection of picking it up thinking that if I didn’t I would certainly never see it again. But the weird part is that I haven’t seen it. Did I pick it up? What in the world happened to my ring?

I’m getting more and more distraught as I run out of logical places to look for it. I’m even about to – gasp! – look in the vacuum cleaner bag, otherwise known as the Spider Crypt. (And that’s hoping they’re dead, too.) You know I’m desperate if I plan on looking in there.

Just when I’ve just about lost hope for my ring, as I’ve been searching high and low for it, I found my night-guard. Mooch is off the hook. My dog really is a good dog. Of course, it has occurred to me that he might have eaten my ring…



  1. I hope Pooch didn’t eat your ring, and I hope you find it soon. I haaaattee losing things like that, which happens an alarming amount around here.

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