Posted by: canthold | May 3, 2010

Doggone Dog

I seriously want to get rid of my dog. Or give him a lobotomy. (Would that make it a Labradorotomy?) We have too many control issues. He thinks he’s in control – and don’t tell him I said this – but he is, and I want to be in control. He’s just a big dog and he’s making me crazy. Maybe I’m the one who should get the lobotomy.

I took him out today for a nice long hike. Some woman with a little white dog – and might I add, slow walking dog – got out of their car right next to us. It ruined my perfectly good plans for a hike with a little running. My dog refused to be distracted and I wasn’t about to let them meet, which would have solved everything had I been able to trust that he wouldn’t show aggression towards the other dog. I couldn’t pass them because as soon as we were in front, my dog wouldn’t budge. And we couldn’t walk  behind them because they were going so slowly I didn’t have to patience to pull him back all the time.

After the second or third time we passed them, only to be stopped again by my dog’s stubbornness, I turned him around and quit. I hate little white dogs. I’m not fond of my own dog right now and the entire way back to the car and then driving home I composed the ad I’d like to place on Craig’s List for a new owner for him. That, and I schemed how to change his ID chip to some random place and drop him off in the middle of nowhere.

Does anyone know the Dog Whisperer’s phone number?

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